15th (part 1)

i was at home not in hall. this was because i was gonna use the car the next day and not cos i chicken out. haha.. what could be worse than the handball team treatment.

anyway, i received the call from melvin they at 1 plus am. asking where am i.. and i was told to go back to hall! my goosh.. i can't believe it. but since melvin even come back, then i decided to drive back.

i got my present.. cologne from Hilfiger and some bear key chains ( yea.. bears again). a simple celebration to kick start my birthday but appreciate it lots.

:)

15th ( part 2)

it is my birthday. i was back in hall since lunch time, waiting for time to come.

in the end, we end up going to marina keppel bay. i really like that place. it was quiet and peaceful. something like marina barrage but i thought it was better. the weather was kind to us. it was windy and cloudy, yet not a sign of rain. thanks god for the good weather.

next, we had our high tea/dinner at rider cafe. my 2nd time here.. and i am still loving it. it was totally away from the city. watching the horses while munching the sandwiches and the finger food away was a pleasant experience. we almost had the entire cafe to us.

finally.. i had to report to training. it was training till i was brought to ground and my back hurt like mad. i fear for the worst. not the bad way to end my day... but certainly appreciate what happened in the day.

14th

finally had another gathering with my frens on the 14th. this time round we decided to do something special again. picnic @ sentosa was our ultimate choice after much discussion.

we were supposed to meet at 10 am @ vivo. guess what.. i was the first one to arrive at 1015 am. apparently the rest were late. leonard and hong hui decided to ignore the morning timing. haha.. i would have followed them if not for me being made the organizer.

anyway we got great food such as home made sandwiches, fried popcorn chixs, onions rings and salad! we sweat it out as well with volleyball .. frisbees.. and cam whoring.. haha...

we finally wrapped up the day by having dinner at marche. (again.. we had it almost exactly a year ago.) this was where the surprise come in. i was damn hungry and so i was the first one that went around the to check out the food. it was then i realized the rest ain't moving. so i went back to check them out again.. and i saw a cake.. haha.. really pleasant surprise. thanks guys

anw.. i ordered knuckles and rosti. i had high hopes for the knuckles but it turned up to be not so nice... so sad for a last dinner of my 23 years. ahaha..

ok.. last words for the 14th. to the one who is avoiding me for almost 2 years alr. not sure how long this gonna last. i totally dont like the situation in which me n u can't co-exists. it is not because i really care about you or hope for any miracles. but i think it is lame and childish. you got reasons but i dont find any valid. 2 yrs in the row, no birthday wishes from you and no signs of your presence.

why can't i ,, ?

why can't i just sit down and really talk to u like in the past ?

i miss those times.. and they wont come back anymore..

real sad. my fault. took a risk and back fired!

new year

i can't believe i spend the last day of the year and the first few moment with my jc frens again. i am glad they are there for me. anyway, this gonna be the worst festive season of recent times but i believe it will be over soon. new year new goals new life. come on V...

i got to learn how to treasures moment and time spend with others and not take things for granted any more...

a random thought came across my mind this afternoon. i was wondering how many of us actually have the courage to go what you want. sometimes, when u saw someone, u told urself this is the girl that you must know. how many of us will dare to take that extra step to really know her better and make her urs? and how many of us can make this dream come true. not easy but it will a real beautiful dream.

it really take alot of courage.

a blank mind

i come here to write when my mind is blank. i can't believe i have been just playing bejeweled for the past couple hours. it sucks knowing that you have no moves left and yet u know you can do much more.

it sucks knowing that you won't be appreciated in the way you want it to be. i guess i brought this upon myself.

i want to go back to the past and treasure every single moment again.

God has given me courage to speak. I guess he has to give the courage to face the truth and challenge it now.

surprising good boxing day

i spent the boxing days with my JC days and it was surprisingly good. despite me only know half of the people there, i enjoy the 'party' somehow. it was nice seeing them around after almost two years. i guess i just love crowd and a simple party.

i lay down on my bed and started to wonder why i didn't treasure the past and why did i screw up the present. is any chance left?

may God bless me with strength and courage ...

xmas week

xmas was bad this year. i didn't get to spend it the way i want it to be. i made huge mistakes which are probably irreversible. xmas sucks this year and now it is back to the wall.

i have so much to say and i just need a chance to do so.

may god bless me with the strength, wisdom and luck.

dilemma

sometimes we know how things will turn up to be like right at the start, but we continue to walk the same path. we will pray that there is an alley somewhere or some miracles will happen. however as we walk closer and closer, we know that we will hit the wall and yet we often walk straight. we will probably regret only after we feel the pain from hitting the wall.

this is life isn't it? knowing the consequences and preparing to bear the consequences.

knowing how to tell people what to do but not knowing what to do when u r in the scenario .

miracles

i used to believe that i can create miracles. but now, i don't. i am an easily defeated person who doesn't believe in miracles anymore.

no more exams!

exams are finally done. perhaps i m done again.

i was still thinking that i was too easily contented. perhaps there is a 'worse to come' scenario waiting for me soon.

anyway, i went onto the road trip traveling from west to east yesterday with my art friends last night. from farm mart to marina barrage, to town and then geylang. finally wrapped up by sending everyone home. it was a new experience with them.. had lots of fun taking photos and talking cock..

it had a long time since spending time with them. hope everyone can put aside the differences and remain as a clique as it used to be. =) let's keep life simple.

happy.

i m happy.

back to exams.. i think i screwed up today's papers. but i think i really tried my best, ok.. i tried at least.

beside exams, i m happy. i m easily contented.

God, continue to bless me with strength, courage and patience.

my fault

i think it is my fault. i blame myself for everything.

should have treasured things.

God, please show me the way and continue to bless me.

keeping focus

i guess i m too easily contended yesterday.

i must keep my focus and patience.

urgh.. sigh...

focus.

God, please continue to bless me with strength, courage and show me the way.

sunday

i seem to forget how i spend sundays at home. this is the 4th weekend in hall..

anw.. i still slightly happier today and i wonder whether i am too easily contended.

God, please continue to show me the way and bless me with the strength and courage.

unlucky

outwitted, out played.

no luck, no fate.

for every chance i create, i will face a new wall.

still believe in being patient. God shows me the way.

tired

i am so mentally and physically drained.

God, please help me. Show me the way.

red card day.

initially it was like getting a 2 minute suspension.. then now it is now like getting a red card.

first paper

i had my first paper today. totally drained out by the paper. i still believe that this was the hardest of the 3 NM papers i had this sem. i hope for a perfect paper in which i know every single question. but that dream still evades me. i had around 10 questions left pondering. not sure whether will hit the target i set down for it eventually.

coming up next is JS paper on thurs. another interesting module with a hard paper to meet. i had a disappointing term paper, hope the finals won't be so disappointed. but for now.. i need a night of break.. cant really focus on the history of Japan.

thinking

you set me thinking for the night.